Alright, first and foremost, if youâ??re a square who doesnâ??t like to party, then donâ??t read the rest of this articleâ?¦ Okay, now that all those losers are gone, we can finally talk about the only ride in town, as far as us party people are concerned.  So crank up some ridiculously repetitive Euro-dance music, throw on a silk button down shirt (but obviously, donâ??t button it all the way), and bust out the bottles of Hypnotic.  Iâ??ll be your designated writer for the evening.

What is it?

Party buses can usually be spotted in their natural habitat- parked in front of nightclubs.  It is easy to recognize one, due to its large size.  In fact, party buses closely resemble regular, in other words lame, mini-buses.  In cases where the party â??just donâ??t stopâ? or if the party is â??off the hook, for real, for realâ? â?? an urban coach chassis (like a Greyhound, for instance) may be converted into a party bus, but those are only in extreme party cases.  And like all cool people, the party bus has many different nicknames and aliases, which sound equally as exciting, such as Party Ride, limo bus, party van, and luxury bus.

A party bus will generally come equipped with a chauffeur, who will definitely not be partaking in the partying/drinking (note: although it is usually permissible for him to nod his head to the beat of the music from time to time.)  Party buses should be able to hold at least ten people (anything less would probably just constitute as a mini-van with a really great soundsystem), although some of the larger ones can hold up to fifty people.

However, the real lure of the party bus are the amenities included.  While these are certainly not universal amongst all party bus services, some of them may include upgraded electrical systems, AM/FM stereo with CD player, video and audio systems, smoke machines, disco lights, strobe lights, on-board restrooms, and stripper poles (strippers not included, unless youâ??re Bret Michaels).  Depending on which service you use, you may have to bring your own booze, food, and music.

Who needs it?

Party buses are primarily used for special events, such as weddings, bachelor/bachelorette parties, proms, and birthdays.  However, if youâ??re just having a night out on the town with forty of your closest friends, a party bus may be the way to go, as you can arrange drop-offs and pick-ups at various bars, nightclubs, or casinos.  Also, if you use lots of gel in your hair and have lots of money, a party bus would probably be your preferred method of travel (maybe second, behind pleasure yacht).

Benefits

The biggest benefit to cruising in a party bus is that the party doesnâ??t have to stop after you leave the club, and it wonâ??t involve you waking up in a holding cell being spooned by a portly cellmate.  Thatâ??s right, live life DUI-free and still get as drunk as you want to in the comfort of the backseat.  Also, you wonâ??t have to worry about finding a parking space (especially in the city) or paying parking fees, as well as gas prices.  And you donâ??t have to worry about showing up late to the party due to traffic jams because you are the party (note: that last statement will actually be true, as opposed to something you tell yourself in the rearview mirror on the way to the club.)

THE BOTTOM LINE

For most people, party buses will be used sparingly or even as a one-time thing, most notably for a special occasion.  In many cases, itâ??s not fiscally logical, as party buses are usually expensive, and is up to you to find a service (among them Party Bus, Party Ride, 360 Party Bus, etc.) that offers a good package.  The more people in your party, the more worthwhile it will be to hire a party bus, as itâ??s a simple way to travel with a large group to various destinations and will ultimately be cheaper if everyone chips in.  But unless youâ??re having the same problem that Eddie Murphy sang about in his 1985 hit â??Party All the Timeâ?, it would probably be a lot easier to hail a couple of taxis.